Jul 30, 2008

C-7 Ajji

An old lady lives above our house on the third floor. She is a very old family friend of ours. I call her ajji (grandmother). She knows my mother from her college days. She lives with her son (mama) and daughter-in-law (mami) and 2 grandchildren.

There’s is typical bollywood melodrama household. Ajji does all the chores while mami watches TV. She cooks food for her grandchildren else mami will order pizza or whatever the children demand. Since she insists on veggies and home cooked food and doesn’t appreciate fast food, she becomes the bad one while mami who gives whatever the kids demand is the good one.

She is allotted a seat only on which she sits. She eats when she is served food. Actually not served.. but given permission to eat.

Once a proud wife of a librarian. She is also no less intellectual. But know she is reduced to a maid. Well, not even maid. One is scared of the maid that if you mistreat her that she might abandon you with unwashed dishes etc., and one pays her too.

But my ajji is not paid money or respect or anything. The once-upon-a-time innocent and loving kids follow the path of their mom and ill-treat their granny.

Its so heart breaking to see her sit on the stairs and cry night after night. She covers her mouth with the edge of her saree pallu to muffle the sound. She gets berated for crying loudly. She has forbidden me or my mom to tell anyone about it. She has asked my mom to find her an old age home. She plans to leave everything.

“Why don’t you just die quickly?”

“for what are still alive.. to eat my head.. I know..”

“you can’t just laze around and expect to get fed. You have to work for it!”

These are the kind of stuff one gets hear outside their door.

I have no idea what her son does in the house. How can it be possible that he isn’t aware of her plight?? Her cheeks and eyes are permanently swollen with tears. Can’t he see that? The problem is that most of this nautanki takes place only when mama has gone off for work.

I really can’t understand for what ajji is tolerating all this shit?? I mean she is financially independent. She has her husband’s pension coming in every month plus their savings and the house in which they are all staying. The house in which mama and mami are squatters.

Ajji can easily ask them leave her house. She can also file a domestic violence complaint or do so many things. Why doesn’t she do it????????

This isn’t the case with my ajji alone. She is just one of the 1000s of such ajjis and other weak, helpless and scared people.

I really see no solution as to what can be done in such a situation. No amount of legislation can help unless the victim decides to make use of it.

Jul 17, 2008

child abuse

There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child.- Walt Streightiff

Children are the future of the society. Playing a key role in driving the market economy. Top brands want to woo them. The govt wants to woo them; they are their pseudo vote bank. Parents nurture them as the torch bearers of the family name.. well.. That's you and me.

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music.

There's another section who haven't been placed on a pedestal. Who are dehumanized everyday across the globe. Child Abuse is one of the sickest things anybody can perpetrate. It leaves behind grave injury- injury to the physical body, to the psyche, to the soul… what else is left??

The term 'Child Abuse' includes several activities-
1. Physical Abuse- beating, burning, whipping, making them to work as laborers in inhuman conditions etc.
2. Emotional Abuse- children are emotionally tortured and made to see their mothers or siblings being abused. Repeatedly telling them they are a big burden.
3. Sexual Abuse- Personal abuse as in rape, molestation or a commercial abuse like trafficking, forced prostitution.
4. Neglect- When parents/ guardians neglect the child- physically or emotionally its abuse again.
Children are one third of our population and all of our future.-Select Panel for the Promotion of Child Health, 1981
There are several legislations in India and several international conventions against Child Abuse. There are severe punishments prescribed for perpetrators. The world is a vicious circle of events. Beggary, prostitution, child labor and hoard of other activities have been banned keeping child abuse as a major factor. Most of the beggars on the streets are children. Most of the prostitutes are underage girls posing as majors. Everyday many pimps and their prostitutes are rounded up by the police. The pimps get away scot free, it's the prostitutes who bare the brunt. The child laborers have no where to go or do if they are not serving tea or shinning shoes. The police harass in the name of the law and others don't need any sanctions from law or God.

The abuser is usually the father or a male relative of the child's immediate family circle. Its the saddest fact of child abuse that the abuser is someone who should have beeen protecting the child from this big bad world.
Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see. -John W.Whitehead
It is weird that we write poetry, articles – as I've written this post, take photos etc., to fight child abuse. I do believe that it is for a good cause, we must spread awareness about such things that happens everyday across the world. But what have we done towards the cause?? For our brothers and sisters who are treated like toilet tissue..

Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of man.-Rabindranath Tagore

As I write this post and as you read it, there must be a boy somewhere who is being mercilessly beaten for breaking a tea cup, a girl somewhere muffling her cries of pain and anguish for her brother's sake as she is brutalized by her once-upon-a-time-favorite-uncle. A brother-sister duo hungry, crying dried tears sitting by the roadside hoping against hope that their parents will come back. It's OK if they don't bring back food. A girl contemplating between suicide or prostitution, then deciding on the later as she can then assist her dad, financially at least if not in any other way being a girl n all.
You are worried about seeing him spend his early years in doing nothing.What! Is it nothing to be happy? Nothing to skip, play, and run around all day long? Never in his life will he be so busy again. -Jean-Jacques Rousseau
As you go through your life.. you don't have to do big things, small and simple things equally matter. Be kind to your maid- whether 14 or 40.
When you go to dhaba or where ever don't yell out "chotuuuu! Do chai la oye!!!!!" instead try "Chotu. Beta do chai lana." And enjoy the twinkle in his eyes.


Know more about the state of child abuse in India. Read the
'Study on Child Abuse India 2007' by the Ministry of Women and Child Development, Govt of India.

Jul 8, 2008


My result is here!!!
I got 173 rank!!! M gonna go do Law finally :)


going back to north campus.. gonna be super fun!!!

Jul 2, 2008

BC to AD

i have a question.. i dont know why i thought about it. No one has yet given me a proper answer. There must be one... also.. i dont know if its a lame question but it has been bothering me for sometime now. So I thought of asking you guys.

All of us know that there was BC (Before Christ) before AD (Anno Domini) right? and that BC years are counted backwards until it ended with 1 and then AD started.

Well, my question is :: Did the years actually go backwards.. boleto.. did the people living in those times count their years backwards??? or is it that we now, in AD have made the BC years backwards, but the people back then must have counted their years normally 2,3,4..

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