Jul 30, 2008

C-7 Ajji

An old lady lives above our house on the third floor. She is a very old family friend of ours. I call her ajji (grandmother). She knows my mother from her college days. She lives with her son (mama) and daughter-in-law (mami) and 2 grandchildren.

There’s is typical bollywood melodrama household. Ajji does all the chores while mami watches TV. She cooks food for her grandchildren else mami will order pizza or whatever the children demand. Since she insists on veggies and home cooked food and doesn’t appreciate fast food, she becomes the bad one while mami who gives whatever the kids demand is the good one.

She is allotted a seat only on which she sits. She eats when she is served food. Actually not served.. but given permission to eat.

Once a proud wife of a librarian. She is also no less intellectual. But know she is reduced to a maid. Well, not even maid. One is scared of the maid that if you mistreat her that she might abandon you with unwashed dishes etc., and one pays her too.

But my ajji is not paid money or respect or anything. The once-upon-a-time innocent and loving kids follow the path of their mom and ill-treat their granny.

Its so heart breaking to see her sit on the stairs and cry night after night. She covers her mouth with the edge of her saree pallu to muffle the sound. She gets berated for crying loudly. She has forbidden me or my mom to tell anyone about it. She has asked my mom to find her an old age home. She plans to leave everything.

“Why don’t you just die quickly?”

“for what are still alive.. to eat my head.. I know..”

“you can’t just laze around and expect to get fed. You have to work for it!”

These are the kind of stuff one gets hear outside their door.

I have no idea what her son does in the house. How can it be possible that he isn’t aware of her plight?? Her cheeks and eyes are permanently swollen with tears. Can’t he see that? The problem is that most of this nautanki takes place only when mama has gone off for work.

I really can’t understand for what ajji is tolerating all this shit?? I mean she is financially independent. She has her husband’s pension coming in every month plus their savings and the house in which they are all staying. The house in which mama and mami are squatters.

Ajji can easily ask them leave her house. She can also file a domestic violence complaint or do so many things. Why doesn’t she do it????????

This isn’t the case with my ajji alone. She is just one of the 1000s of such ajjis and other weak, helpless and scared people.

I really see no solution as to what can be done in such a situation. No amount of legislation can help unless the victim decides to make use of it.


  1. Her plight is so pitiful.Do help her out in taking some action.To think they have the gall to treat her like that living in her sanctum!Why should she leave the house???Nice that she has you to think for her :)

    Btw,change your visited link color,it merges with the post background.

  2. problem is,though they r ill treated, they dont wnt to bring anything abd to their children. so it is tricky to force them to use law - especially if the women is as sweet as your Ajji.
    Shame on her son who let her get all this ill treatment. he dont realises that what goes around, will certainly come around.
    you can talk to her about taking strong steps against ill treated, but I dont know how much she will do - probably she will keep undergoing all the ill treatment than making her son suffer.
    the otehr alternative is to find her an old age home - i am sure she will be more at peace there, and there is a chance that she might be more happy too.

  3. I guess what people fail to understand is one day they too are gonna be helpless, and dependent..I just hope she gets into one of those old age homes

  4. Start a fund in your building to get Ajji a sawn off shotgun, or a cattle prod atleast.

    Works all the time.

    Or get her in the old age home, how long can a family survive on just pizza?


  5. Oh man! This is so sad. I am sure aaji has her own issues about why she is not going to the police or the court. I wish her son knew better.

  6. It's very sad....and I am feeling helpless. Really nice post heighlighting the important social issue. Many senior citizens are in the same condition in the country. May god bless ajji

  7. OMG..so sad..so so sad..after doing so much for her son all these yrs she gets this :(

  8. @ Sameera
    thts exactly my Qs too.. why shud she leave her house?

    @ xh
    yeah.. my dad says d same thng.. tht his children r gonna treat him the same he's treatin his mom today..
    maternal feelings are unpredictable.. thts why i guess she's tolerating all ths crap!!

    @ Rambler
    exactly.. my mami will get old one day and i'll see hw her bahu treats her!!

    @ N
    haha!!! nice idea actly...
    i thnk i cn survive on pizza ;)

    @ Solitaire
    no issues.. just pure love for her unworthy family..

    @ Indian Farmer
    yea.. even i feel helpless.. thrz nothin we can do.. so much so tht we cant even invite her over n offer her tea.. coz when she goes bk, she'll scolded fr tht also.

    @ Pavi
    yea.. kya karein such is life.

  9. isnt it possible for u to speak to her son...u, ur mom and dad can speak to him and put sense to his head. probably he is not aware of it. ajji may not go to court, she will never. but if her son doesnt listen, u can threaten that u might. come on, its a stance u have to take. u have to fight for her.....
    and i thought u r doing law ( i think thats what i saw somewhere in earlier post)....that should be good enough to put fear into their head.....
    i will keep visitng ur site to see what u have come up with....
    best of luck

  10. you know what...it is indeed true that she stand up for the ill treatment...I guess before anything, the basic fact of the indian outlook towards society should change....

    There!!thats as serious as I could get...but truely man...she should whack their guts out!

    Scribblers Inc.

  11. that is soooo sad :(
    i guess she is scared to say this to anyone else except for u...but u can bring it up na

  12. things like this still happen!??!

    i think she d better live in an old age home- where she d be at least allowed to lead a respectable life!

  13. no words can explain this.. good thought.. good luck to ajji

  14. heya its been ages since i visited your blog, sorry for that..

    bout the post,i completely agree with you but at least ajji has you and your mother.. at least you make life better for her and treat her like family... she should stand up for herself thoug..
    gosh dunno why this happens.. its either the mother in law or the daughter in law being ill treated.. no wonders there are so many emerging nuclear families! people blame the younger gen for it, but it is a fact the the youngsters can stand it no longer..

  15. you better complete ya studies fast and take up her case... :/

  16. hey, you cant disappear just like that....

  17. I think you should record all this things. Talk to mama in private and tell him very decently that ''GOD IS WATCHING'' !!

    Though, this wont have a drastic change, but it will help in inflicting guilty conscious. He will start thinking! Between , how is aajji now??

  18. realy u have a maicrospocic viue .
    take it easy and think about it vary brod .


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